May 30, 2006

That's Why I'm a Rooter for Me Computer?

I have to add that I finally switched over to Firefox from Internet Explorer and it is cArazy. Now to the real point of this here blog entry, my monitor flipped! Seriously, flipped completely upside down. I had to make the picture big enough for you to see. I was writing a paper and, all of sudden, presto! everything is upside down. Not just that, I press the up arrow, and the cursor moves down, etcetera etcetera. It took me two phone calls, a visit to a bunch of people, and then, after all of that, I finally figured it out myself. I was so intensely confused. I was also, at the time of the flip, listening to my iTunes; "Strange Brew"

I could just see a bad movie of our generation beginning with my computer screen flipping. What song would be in the soundtrack today for that soon-to-be iconic moment? Sonic Youth's "Computer Age" would be all angsty. Coldplay's "Talk" would be the clever allusion to Kraftwerk's "Computer Love" which doesn't really fit this situation anyway but sounds nice. My choice, however, would be The Sherman Brothers ' "The Computer Song," which was created for Disney's EPCOT Futureworld, and borrows from their own "It's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow." The Tomorrow, however, is today, and all my computer problems would be HILARIOUS when backgrounded by the following oh so jolly Sherman Brothers lyrics: by Cream was the song it happened to have just shuffled to. So imagine the setting: I am diligently writing away at my desk when suddenly everything flips over and Strange Brew starts playing. It's at this point that colors would begin swirling if I were in one of those great (in a very particularly way) 60s movies that doesn't bare time well at all, like which was tagged as "The Most Shocking Film of Our Generation!" Riot on the Sunset Strip

You see my friends, the computer makes life easier, saves me times and headaches, too. He sorts things out and analyzes in a shake. My enormous problem to him is a piece of cake. He's got a great big memory like an elephant, utilizes knowledge without end. That's why I'm a rooter for me computer, everybody needs a friend. When my work piles up and I'm seeing red 'cause I need five arms and an extra head, I find the computer; here comes my troubleshooter. He keeps miles and miles of facts on file; my wish is his command. Nothing is astuter than my computer when I need a helping hand... They've given efficiency new dimension..."

I can't help but wonder, after spending almost half an hour going insane, if it would not be more efficient to write everything by hand!

May 29, 2006

Projected Spiders and Lizard Dinosours

Look at that image! Man, what a spider. and a cave made entirely out of webs! Last weekend, I turned on the TV and saw this. After about 15 whole minutes of research, I figured out I was watching The Lost World (1960), which is such a better movie than any of the Jurassic Park series. Everyone should see this movie for the following reasons:
1. The special effects are so lo-fi, it's like diorama art.
2. The people have fantastic accents.
3. There's a random poodle running around ALL the time.

May 22, 2006

Gets me going.

What do you think about when you hear Rufus Wainwright's "Oh What a World?" I, for one, think of David Niven and the classic 1956 movie Around the World in 80 Days. Not just plain old handsome and sophisticated David Niven, however. The David Niven I think of when I hear this song is the Niven on an elephant being suave and racing to get back to London even though the train tracks haven't been completed as scheduled so his train cannot make it to the next destination. (phweh. that run-on sentence just had to get out of me). This is the Niven charming the Indian princess Aouda, asking her "Will you join me on the verandah? I understand they serve an outstanding lemon squash."

So much of Rufus' catalogue feels like classic movies to me. The end of his "Old Whore's Diet," wow! What do I see? Camels moving languidly up sand dunes, so slowly, so up-and-down that one only sees the humps of the camel every few seconds or so and in such a hot environment that everything is blurred like the world is melting away. You know what I am talking about? When it is just that hot that things look all curvy, all vague. The camels are slowly ascending the dunes towards a sea where an armada is arriving. Some galleons, too. Perhaps Lawrence of Arabia fits in there somewhere. But one thing is for sure, Rufus is riding one of those camels, slowly bumping up the sand, and, as the sweat drips of his brow, his voice becoming louder, stronger, more urgent. It's the end of the movie, he reaches the top of the mountain of sand, and end. That's it.

Rufus may be some people's Gay Messiah, but he will forever be my David Niven in a hot air balloon landing in India, taking an elephant to the camel, where he will travel until the end of the movie when he reaches the water. This is what "gets me going in the morning."

May 21, 2006

Paramount on 5/23

Tune into Automatic Stapler this Tuesday 05.23 between 4 and 6 pm pst to hear Los Angeles pop-alt rockers Paramount. Listen here!

May 20, 2006


Will you join me on the verandah? I understand they serve an outstanding lemon squash.