As promised

I told you Robert Downey, Jr. was becoming Michael Caine a la Pulp. Here is the proof.

Andrew and Luke Wilson

Andrew and Luke Wilson
Originally uploaded by neonspecs

Banned words, banned books, etc.

Unrelated, but I'm sure Billy Bragg would have something to say about banning words. Billy Bragg & Mavis Staples at Royce tonight. Pretty fab. James Spader and Tom Morello were there. And some other guy that all the ushers were trying to place but couldn't. Perhaps you can help: he's about 5"10 or perhaps a little shorter, very pale skin, dark black hair, sorta greaser-y. Probably plays a villain, but in a not muscular way. That's how far we got in the recognition.

Also, Bragg and Staples TOGETHER doing "The Weight" was definitely awesome. Bragg didn't, however, play "Way Over Yonder in the Minor Key," which for sure would have made my week.

Bragg's shirts, also silly-ly known as "Bragg Swag," were of course printed on Union Made or some other brand like that. As way too many patrons pointed out to us, he would have to after playing "There is Power in a Union." BUT, if I am going to spend $25 on a tshirt, it has to be soft. These were shirts were soooo not even close to buyable. Get your act together, unions!

A surprising move for Walmart.
Earthquake Quartet? Bizarre.
Is there a future for Mariachi Plaza?
There are three Subway shops in the Pentagon? Hmm.
Human skin lampshade. Scary.
Don't miss the boat. NO on Proposition 23. duh.
Censoring in the US?

In other news, I went to the new Which Wich today, a new development I have been most decided about. It was, however, only open for a private party. Immense disappointment! I did spot Josh from Sabrina the Teenage Witch (don't know his real name but yeah Sabrina the Teenage Witch! best show of middle school times).

I saw Fred Armisen at the Silverlake Jubilee this past weekend.
1. I was surprised I remembered his name, considering I rarely watch SNL, because it is terrible.
2. Why is he in LA?
3. After reading the Wikipedia article on him, he plays drums on a Les Savy Fav album. What?!

Anyways, he lost out, though, 'cause he left before The Living Sisters even started. Loser.

Zombie!

Me and Sahr from Fela dancing from Terry Richardson on Vimeo.

Duck tape or duct tape? Is there a difference?

Y'all know how much I love the L.A. River. WSJ discusses the Pasadena Museum of Art's current exhibit (Lillian, we still have to go!)

Can freeways have character? Do they deserve to be preserved?

Pretender, contender, or defender? I don't like any of them.

In other news, I encountered one of the kids from that newish Parenthood show at Royce last week, and she was not cool. As I guess I sorta expected. The show was alright but now I'll just think about her ridiculous eye rolling and expectation of preferential treatment.

I saw Warren Christopher at the mall on Thursday and he was super adorable, although I feel like that may be an inappropriate way to describe a man who was not so long ago the United States Secretary of State. Anyways, he is super adorable and immaculately dressed. A man with much panache.

In other celebrity news (Warren Christopher is a celebrity, right?), Leonard Nimoy went to see Patti Smith at the Hammer and I got really excited about this. Eric McCormack (Will, really, he won't ever be able to be anything else) went to hear Neil Gaiman at Royce, and so did Eric J. Lawrence, your Local Public Radio Music Librarian (KCRW, at which I volunteered this morn, takin' your moneyyyyy) [If you happen to read this and it weirds you out that I am reporting this and increasing your celebrity to my four, maybe five loyal readers, EJL, let me know and I will delete it].

Finally, as also a member of KCET (yeah, look at me, your unemployed friend so liberally donating her time and money [I want to use the word "largesse" but can't figure out how]), I attended a "gala" at the California Science Center and California African American Museum with Tavis Smiley (whom Greg hates for reasons unbeknownst to me). I actually like Smiley a little less after I heard him speak this evening. He just seemed so not happy to be there, plus he complained about a lack of appreciation for culture in Los Angeles, which was just annoying. Eh, but the food was great (Creole, Jamaican, Ethiopian, and something else), and a few of the exhibits were nice. I especially recommend "Harlem of the West: Jazz, Bebop, and Beatnik" at CAAM and the awesome paintings/carvings of musicians that are from the walls of an old jazz club in Texas, of all places (Jake Morrow, you don't read my blog, but you should go check out this exhibition to see the section of Harry Smith. Hurry, it closes soon!). Smiley's America I Am at the Science Center was whatever. It's probably great if it's been a while since you were in high school or if your school was racist. It's never bad to be reminded of the things covered in the exhibition but it wasn't mind-blowing or anything like that.

As a result of this post, I looked up the origin of "panache." Wikipedia says it was once a marker of character worthy of suspect, until Cyrano de Bergerac. Literally, it means plume. FYI.

J.L.Curtis part II

She thinks I "may have a runway" in my future and should have majored in costume design. She gets this all from a jacket. Excellent.

Also part II of What/Who Ron Jarvis Thinks I Look Like Today (although this is actually in reference to Monday): Coco Chanel. I'll take it.

Harry Shearer was there, too.

Jamie Lee Curtis likes bluegrass and my new hat

and John C. Reilly wanted to know if I was going to play him a mini glockenspiel solo.

really Star Trek weekend.

Brent Spiner in Man of La Mancha at Freud on Saturday (didn't recognize him, my dad had to tell me who he was) and Leonard Nimoy in audience at Royce on Sunday (definitely recognized him. Leonard Nimoy!!!)

chain mail replacement

I'm writing this here and not on Facebook, because I don't want to participate in chain mail and tag 25 people afterwards but also don't want to disappoint the three people who have tagged me who obviously care so much about me (hehe).

1. My mother taught English. This has made me keenly aware of other people's grammar mistakes and super embarrassed when I make them myself. It bothers me that I am quite bothered by other people's mistakes--well, at least some of them. Just so you know, "number" and "amount" are different words. "Few" and "less" are, too. There should always be a comma before "too."

2. I have never desired to be a real banker, but, when I was younger, I had my own pretend bank. I made my own currency, checks, and log books. I printed weekly statements for my family members and allowed them to make transactions. The bank even had an awesome logo and a slogan I can't remember.

3. I have never had a pet. Assorted family member's allergies and aversions prevented it. My grandfather had two cats that my brother and I named. Then one of the cats jumped at my brother and created a huge gash in his neck. That was the end of us hanging out with the cats.

4. I truly enjoy learning. I can usually listen to people to talk about things that interest me for a long time. On the other hand, three hour classes usually only retain my full attention and interest for at most two hours. Additionally, I do not wish to be a writer of any sort and have only two or three times in my life enjoyed written assignments.

5. I did not have cable television until the middle of third grade. While that seems pretty early in life, I think much about me is related to the fact that I pretty much only watched PBS for those formative years. On family trips, Nickelodeon and Nick at Nite were the Coolest Things Ever. Once we got cable, classic television was all I watched until much later. Hogan's Heroes is still my favorite show, closely followed by Adam-12. I have seen every episode of Hogan's Heroes at least three times. I would totally be able to watch the same episode a few times in a row and each each viewing.

6. It is a little weird to me that I love prison movies, but I do. My favorite movie, not just in the prison genre, is Escape from Alcatraz with Clint Eastwood. This is, in large part, the cause of my love of Clint Eastwood, not due to my love of Clint Eastwood. My second favorite is Papillon.

7. I hate washing dishes. It also amazes me how easily I make my apartment incredibly messy, when I am a generally organized person.

8. I do not know how to ride a bike.

9. I have had a fireplace in my apartment both this year and last and never used it until right now (Sunday February 1st, 7:58pm). Unfortunately, it is not a real fire place. The logs are fake. I do not like that. Also, the flames are blue. There is not much heat. The logs will never burn down. The fire will never end, unless I turn it off. What the hell? That is not the correct fire place experience. I don't like the sound it makes or the unsafe feeling it gives me. It also took my building three months to turn it on. Ridiculous.

10. I really like cooking. I would be more than happy to cook you dinner, if you help me clean up after.

11. Ella Fitzgerald once serenaded me in an elevator.

12. This one should be obvious by now: I love the work of Raymond Chandler. For the most part, I also love movies based on the work of Raymond Chandler.

13. I painted a portrait of him recently. It's the first painting I've done in a really long time. This makes my mother really happy, because I used to be very into art. I almost went the whole art school route. But, in the past four years, I haven't done much art at all. My mom thinks I am wasting talent. I think I have the skill but not the ideas.

14. I enjoying drinking gimlets. I am not sure what percent of this affinity stems from my love of Raymond Chandler and the first book of his I read, The Long Goodbye.

15. I bought a harmonica and would like to be able to play it well. I have not yet dedicated any time to this task, however. Hopefully spring break will bring greatness.

16. I am finally going to Coachella this year. I am most excited 'bout Leonard Cohen. Sometimes I call him Lenny Cohen, like we're friends. We're not, but I have met him at a Christmas party. Sorta met him. More like too nervous to say anything other than hello. (OH MY, SO COOL).

17. I frequently think in song titles. When someone says "alley oop" at a basketball game, I first think of the song by the Hollywood Argyles, not the offensive maneuver usually involving a slam dunk.

18. I think James Franco is an okay guy but am really disappointed he is going to be the commencement speaker at my graduation.

19. I don't think participation should be so highly valued by professors. This pressure to participate causes people to say things just for the sake of getting those participation points and not because they have anything valuable to say. I cannot count how many times classes have been ruined because of idiots 'participating.'

20. My usage of the word idiot reminds of an interesting twenty minutes spent in an urban planning class a year or two ago discussing all the words related to city. In a roundabout way, idiot is one of them. See if you can figure out how.

21. I have a headache right now that is distracting.

22. I will watch any Huell Howser show. Even though I am way into them, they frequently are very helpful if I want to be sleeping. I will spend over five bucks (ridiculous) on a quart of Broguiere's milk if Huell Howser's face is on it. In my defense, it does taste better than most other milk I've had.

23. I really like Jewish holidays. I am going to have a seder this year at my apartment on the third night. You might be invited. Let me know if you would like to be.

24. I don't know why I didn't think of this one sooner: I really really really like postcards. I keep every postcard I get. I also, in general, like writing and receiving letters (not just the fake ones I write on this blog).

25. I do a lot of things for the future, which sometimes seems really silly to me but I like it anyways. For example, I took a yearbook photo and am buying a ridiculously expensive yearbook when I graduate, because I am really into my grandmother's college yearbooks and want to have one for my eventual granddaughter to find. This way/philosophy/appropriate-noun-of-which-I-cannot-think-currently has caused me to be quite the pack rat.

Down by the schoolyard.

photo by Tom Marcello

Dear Arnold Schwarzenegger,

I have now felt the "public school overcrowding," and it is going to prevent me from taking the class on Ellingtonia with the awesome Kenny Burrell. BOO. I really wanted to take that class, but I cannot handle 200 people stuffed into a classroom that should contain fifty. Add in the fact that twenty plus people are on their sidekicks and one person WAS ON THE PHONE (talking!) in the middle of class. Also, Burrell is in his late 70s and doesn't talk too loudly in the first place.

BOO BUDGET CUTS,
Laura

A few notes on basketball.

1) The people they show cheering before the game are not live, because they don't expect fans to be loud and such during winter break.

2) We won by 51 points today--113-62! (side note, when did I start caring about basketball?).

3) During half time, they have a "super shot" contest, in which one can win prizes if one makes certain shots. Half court shot winning the ultimate prize of a year's tuition and books. You sign up before the game if you want to participate. In no way was I ever planning on signing up for this. Apparently, someone thought it would be a really great idea to sign me up without telling me! And I was picked! SERIOUSLY. I didn't think I was even going to make a lay up, nonetheless a half court shot. yeesh. I was so nervous, shaking like I was about to get some sort of shot a the doctor's office. Oy, the announcer makes jokes about you the whole time! But, at least, I did make a lay up. One usually gets one Muscle Milk (such a lame prize) but they ran out (thankfully), and so I got a free burrito from Chipotle.

3a) I have only eaten at Chipotle twice previously. Both times were because I got free burritos.

4) Oh my god, I love James Keefe. This is mostly because he was in one of my geography classes, but also because he is quite good looking and a pretty solid basketballer.

Side note: I haven't done a Royce celeb update in a while. Both super pregnant Jennifer Garner and super high-heeled Patricia Arquette were at The Nutcracker this past Saturday.

My wisdom was extracted on Tuesday.

Consequently, I've been bleeding and reading--and not eating. Plus, watching a lot of movies. A few notes:

• I finally finished alphabetizing all the 'rock-pop-soul' CDs at my internship. The Hives' Black and White Album really has fantastic album art. The font is spectacular. Looks like a great old movie. Unfortunately, I can't find a picture of the back where this great font is. So you'll just have to believe me.
• Also at my internship, I've been doing a bit of golf cart driving which is, I gotta say, quite fun. The silly thing about the lot, though, is that the limit lines for stopping are about three feet behind the intersections, and, thus, you can't actually see anything when you stop there. It is all very silly.
• I also interviewed James Franco again last week. I'll play it on my show as soon as I finish healing. Stay tuned!
• I watched Hitchcock's last movie, Family Plot, today. Didn't like it too much, unfortunately. There are two interesting likenesses though.
  
• 1. The villain looks remarkably like Zev Yaroslavsky!
• Bruce Dern in this film reminds me of Will Farrell. But kinda only in this movie. Weird.

Being that I have a lot of free time on my hands...

• I became a petanque tournament champion whilst playing against a man named Fabian. Don't ask me to repeat that triumph. Do buy me some boules, please, so I can practice.
• I got quite sunburned. Boo.
• Been talked to mindlessly about economics of some sort, which ended with: "when we get back groovin, we'll be groovin'." I still have no idea what he was talking about.
• Finished another Raymond Chandler book -- look at the way that list is growing on the right and be proud of me!
• Turned 21, did some drinking, and, of course, found a Chandler quotation for the occasion: "I swished a little more of his Scotch around in my mouth. If I was going to drink it I might as well try to prevent cavities while I was at it. " (Although I didn't actually drink any Scotch and Chandler didn't actually write that quote. Robert B. Parker did, after Chandler died).
• Watched a lot of movies I couldn't rate on Netflix, which was disappointing, especially because the movies were not. A couple examples: Come Live With Me and It Happened in Flatbush. One pretty great Jimmy Stewart movie and one not so great but nevertheless enjoyable movie about baseball. I quite like baseball movies.
• Oh, I also saw Fabio whilst I was driving. That was silly.
  

Hodge Podge Mod Podge

1. Oh man, do you remember Mod Podge?!! That stuff is the best. 2. I saw Rhett Miller walking on the street last night. Didn't react in time to roll down the window of a super old car, though, to say hi.

3. Rilo Kiley was much better than I expected but still a little boring. Also, the audience was too much of a hipster relay for me.

4. Some things I learn as a file clerk: Suge Knight's real name is Marion, hole punching takes way too much strength, super fast multi-page scanners are awesome except when they jam every 45 seconds

5. Wattstax is way interesting.

6. I wanted to go to this, but there was way too long of a line.

Six Records Speak

L-R, T-B:
1)Various Artists (Dani Dassa): Rikud
2)Various Artists: Roots: The Black Beginnings of American Music
3)Various Artists: The Secret Policeman's Ball
4)Six Presidents Speak
5)Original Motion Picture Soundtrack: The Sting
6)Various Artists: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club band

1) I got this at the last night of Cafe Dansa before it closed. I had always wanted to go but never did, but at least I made it out there before it was gone foreverrr, and it was exactly how I wanted it to be--way tiny, cramped, and stuck in the 1970s. I danced with random old men (old men seem to be becoming a recurring motif in this blog). And got this great record, which is made even more great by the picture on the back of Dani Dassa in all his eyebrow glory. I have some good pictures of this, but since I am an inadequate tagger, I cannot currently find them on flickr.

2) This also came from the Rhino closeout sale. As you can see by the cover, it has some pretty good artists on it, like Big Bill Broonzy and Fats Waller. The record also has some nice generalizing statements on the back: "Here then is 'Roots'. Black Music (capitalization theirs). Black Music that speaks for God and man; joy and sorrow; hard work and good lovin'; music and artists who have influenced the music of America, the music of the world."

3) Rhino. I never listen to this. Was worth the ten cents just for the fact that it says on the back "Stage show slightly directed by John Cleese."

4) I don't remember where I got this one. It includes FDR, Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, and Nixon. It was produced by the Ford Customer Service Division of Ford Motor Company in 1972. I wonder for what reasons people were given this record. Everyone got it? Only if you had car trouble? Christmas gift? Bank of America once gave my dad a really bad holiday CD. I would have much preferred this. It's pretty great to listen to; some of it is unbelievably dry. I like to listen to it while watering my plants on the balcony.

5) Scott Joplinnnnnn. This soundtrack is superb. The movie ain't bad either. I love Paul Newman. This movie made me see why people like Robert Redford, but I still prefer Newman. Also, what a great font!

6) Another soundtrack. This movie is crazy. Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees play the Beatles. I am sure this movie was created due to all sorts of drugs. The songs are ok, some better than others. I like the Bee Gees, for sure, but they are better singing their own songs. Billy Preston doing Get Back, on the other hand, is great.

In other news, I may have failed my midterm today, but I am still GM of UCLAradio.com for next year. Oh yeah, James Franco was on Auto Stapler today. He's silly.

Brotherly Love.

Dear Robert Carmine,

Why are you everywhere I go? I would much prefer it if your brother was everywhere I go. Can you make that small change for me?

Thanks,
Laura

P.S. Swingers, your cupcakes are good, but four dollars good? No way.
P.P.S. Why do all jukeboxes eat my change?

Excellent Asians.

They filmed the Asian Excellence Awards at Royce on Wednesday. I won't reveal any of the winners since they don't air until May 1st, but I don't think you care about that anyways. Let's just go through a quick run-through of the random people who were there, starting with Kenny G. What? Then there were a ton of reality TV folks (most of whom I wouldn't know if I hadn't read the program): some American Idol girl named Ramiele, JabbaWockeez, Cheryl Burke, Cristian de la Fuente, Carrie Ann Inaba, Karina Smirnoff, and Tia Carrere (who sang two Hawaiian songs and was really uninteresting). And the folks that someone once cared about and have now become reality TV folks: Ian Ziering, Daisy Fuentes, oh yeah-Vern Troyer. And then the so-called celebrities other people were excited about but whom I had never heard of: Rex Lee (Entourage?), the guy who (co-?)invented YouTube, and so many more. Sonja Sohn, of the Wire, gave a pretty intense speech about how it was 'about time' and great that the Asian community was accepting of the mixed race folk. This speech went on for quite some time. B.D. Wong who plays the psychologist (I think) on Law and Order: SVU! I don't even like this show but anything even semi-related to Law and Order has the potential of making work just slightly less boring. heh. Also, a very disheveled Quentin Tarantino. People who are awesome: Kristi Yamaguchi (so skinny! so short! pretty dress).

A great moment: we didn't let Three Six Mafia into the VIP reception cause of a lack of tickets to the VIP reception, only to get the oh-so-funny "You don't know who they are?!?!" There was also one guy from the Black Eyed Peas.Also, three pageant queens were there. "Miss LA Chinatown"'s crown was perhaps a foot tall. It was beyond absurd, especially for a winner of not even a city's pageant, just a section of a city's pageant.

Finally, !!! Mr. Iron Chef America Chairman Mark Dacascos said hi to me and my fellow usher and started walking away before he turned around and came back to shake our hands and tell me I "have a great smile." awww.

I thought you were famous, but actually you are just incredibly attractive.

I kinda agree with this, but also think Zev needs to stop making excuses. On the subject of newspapers, I am going to take this opportunity to provide you with a few more sentences from The Long Goodbye which made me think a lot about Sam Zell--not that he would be saying these sentences at all, except maybe the first one.

I own newspapers, but I don't like them. I regard them as a constant menace to whatever privacy we have left. Their constant yelping about a free press means, with a few honourable exceptions, freedom to peddle scandal, crime, sex, sensationalism, hate, innuendo, and the political and financial uses of propaganda. A newspaper is a business out to make money through advertising revenue. That is predicated on its circulation and you know what the circulation depends on.

Now, as promised, here's the Royce Celebrity Update (TM). Daryl Hannah, lookin' mighty Botoxed and Cocaineoxed, Tom Morello, and the guy who hosts Survivor were in attendance at the Steve Earle show on the 25th. There was also a man which inspired a fellow usher to state the sentence which has become this post's title. Tonight--er, yesterday--Amy Brenneman and Maria Bello showed up to see Anne Lamott and Elizabeth Gilbert (the author of a book Erica and Oprah like). This show was almost unbelievably sold out, but a lot of people didn't show up after buying tickets. Also, the majority of this crowd, a supermajority even, were middle-aged women; perhaps, 40% were bottle blondes. yeech.

Even though this picture was taken in Colorado in December, I am oh so sure these women would have flown in to see the "conversation" tonight. By the way, please do notice that the four women are all wearing THE EXACT SAME THING.