According to Google, the fourth-most-asked “why?” question in Mandarin in 2009 was “Why are Jews excellent?”.

Evolution of the Telephone.

Thank you, State Library of New South Wales.

"Big chunky phone because you need a big serious phone for the world war. You can't be texting about the Third Reich. You cant be sayin' 'Hitler just invaded the Sudetenland omg omg'" - Craig Ferguson

here, here Paul Smith

"Unfortunately, it’s just so normal now for people not to believe anything and for people to lie about things, and gamble on them, and not be sincere. In a way, sincerity is the new fake because no one even believes you if you are sincere."

Two things that would prevent me from buying a watch.

1. No hour demarcation of any kind.
2. This slogan: "German precision and American testosterone."

After returning the portrait, the art thieves reclined

Did you know the Los Angeles Police Department has an Art Theft Detail? Did you know it is the only only full-time municipal art investigative unit in the United States? It's a good thing, too, considering how, as Greg Allen says, "Seriously, there is some great art in LA. Or at least there was, until it got JACKED."

One of the stolen pieces is one of Andy Warhol's portraits of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. According to the aforementioned Allen, eight were commissioned by the man who had one set of athletes' portraits stolen. I have my own picture somewhere of one that hangs in the UCLA Chancellor's Residence, on loan from the Hammer Museum (perhaps they got one of the 4/8 given away), but this one will have to do because I can't find it. I have no real opinion on Chancellor Block's wife other than that I really enjoy her statement to the Daily Bruin: "'I met Kareem at a UCLA event recently and I said, ‘Oh, I see you every day.'"

Notes taken out of context.

In the process of cleaning my room (the room I spent more than half of my childhood in, the room I just moved back into after not living in for four years a.k.a. there was a lot of stuff just stashed in random places room), I have discovered lots of little pieces of papers, post-its, business cards, what-have-yous with notes on them, either that I noted to myself or received. Sometimes I remember what they mean or what they come from, frequently I don't. I am going to share a few. Feel free to claim you're the one who said any of them. This may become a new series (if I ever resume regular posting), semi-inspired by Erica's affinity for my (is "to" actually the correct word here?) letter series.

"Looks like a 502, he's really weaving." "Give him a ball of yarn; he could make us both a sweater."

"Call him on it, be like, 'that dog just ain't gonna hunt.' Yeah, maybe the idiom is too much, but my point remains." (okay, honestly, I now remember exactly who said this and what/who it was about, but I didn't when I found it and it's kinda too much to get into for a blog post but makes me chuckle and thus I deem it post-worthy).

Perhaps a good way to remember the order of the streets downtown: "Wouldn't it be grand to hope to pick flowers on Figueroa?"

"1848 was charming only through an excess of the ridiculous"

"It is not theft to steal from thieves; it is merely irony."

OK, this last one I wrote down sometime during 2006. I know this because other stuff on the paper happened that year. I also know gkla told/IMed/somethinged this to me, but I have no idea what it is referencing: "Laura, you may now proudly say of yourself, "Today I was riding dirty." So fantastically dated, right?!

Hippies

I don't remember where I read it, so I apologize for the lack of attribution in advance, but I enjoy this sentence:

I hate war, man, just look at the circumference of my pant legs.

Trouble is My Business

If you don't actually know me, you may not know that I am obsessed with all things Raymond Chandler. And, as such, I have started a blog that I actually update with quotations by Chandler and pictures by me. It's basically a photo blog with captions, or a quotation blog with illustrations. Either way, you should check it out.

Also, on this blog, see the incredibly growing sidebar list of books I read this year--go me!--and how Chandleriffic it is.

The real inspiration for this announcement is ErGo's "Metaphorplay" post. Chandler is nothing if not a craftsman of metaphor and analogy. One of my favorites from The Little Sister:

At 3 a.m. I was walking the floor and listening to Katchaturian working in a tractor factory. He called it a violin concerto. I called it a loose fan belt and the hell with it.

Finally, if I do know you and you like movies, please join me on my more recent quest to watch every movie based on/written by Raymond Chandler. Unfortunately, about half of them are not on Netflix, so this might be a challenge.

floccinaucinihilipilification

My feelings exactly.

Mr. Hutchinson nicely described my silly useless internship today, a way I will never actually use.

Facilitated the transition to a digital system, specializing in the reduction of a dependence on physical capital for longevity, preservation, and efficiency gains.

I am just going to try and avoid being asked what I did--upload CDs for 8 hours a day twice a week for an entire summer.

On a side note, it is SUPER air-conditioned in these offices. And now, of course, another semi-relevant Chandler (not really, see previous post) quotation:

"It felt good after the hard desert heat, but it felt artificial too, like the soothing touch of an embalmer."

Being that I have a lot of free time on my hands...

• I became a petanque tournament champion whilst playing against a man named Fabian. Don't ask me to repeat that triumph. Do buy me some boules, please, so I can practice.
• I got quite sunburned. Boo.
• Been talked to mindlessly about economics of some sort, which ended with: "when we get back groovin, we'll be groovin'." I still have no idea what he was talking about.
• Finished another Raymond Chandler book -- look at the way that list is growing on the right and be proud of me!
• Turned 21, did some drinking, and, of course, found a Chandler quotation for the occasion: "I swished a little more of his Scotch around in my mouth. If I was going to drink it I might as well try to prevent cavities while I was at it. " (Although I didn't actually drink any Scotch and Chandler didn't actually write that quote. Robert B. Parker did, after Chandler died).
• Watched a lot of movies I couldn't rate on Netflix, which was disappointing, especially because the movies were not. A couple examples: Come Live With Me and It Happened in Flatbush. One pretty great Jimmy Stewart movie and one not so great but nevertheless enjoyable movie about baseball. I quite like baseball movies.
• Oh, I also saw Fabio whilst I was driving. That was silly.
  

oh man, Lillian.

[22:59] EmeraldFacetsGlo: my gloved hand touched his gloved hand twice today at work
[22:59] EmeraldFacetsGlo: *swoons*