chain mail replacement

I'm writing this here and not on Facebook, because I don't want to participate in chain mail and tag 25 people afterwards but also don't want to disappoint the three people who have tagged me who obviously care so much about me (hehe).

1. My mother taught English. This has made me keenly aware of other people's grammar mistakes and super embarrassed when I make them myself. It bothers me that I am quite bothered by other people's mistakes--well, at least some of them. Just so you know, "number" and "amount" are different words. "Few" and "less" are, too. There should always be a comma before "too."

2. I have never desired to be a real banker, but, when I was younger, I had my own pretend bank. I made my own currency, checks, and log books. I printed weekly statements for my family members and allowed them to make transactions. The bank even had an awesome logo and a slogan I can't remember.

3. I have never had a pet. Assorted family member's allergies and aversions prevented it. My grandfather had two cats that my brother and I named. Then one of the cats jumped at my brother and created a huge gash in his neck. That was the end of us hanging out with the cats.

4. I truly enjoy learning. I can usually listen to people to talk about things that interest me for a long time. On the other hand, three hour classes usually only retain my full attention and interest for at most two hours. Additionally, I do not wish to be a writer of any sort and have only two or three times in my life enjoyed written assignments.

5. I did not have cable television until the middle of third grade. While that seems pretty early in life, I think much about me is related to the fact that I pretty much only watched PBS for those formative years. On family trips, Nickelodeon and Nick at Nite were the Coolest Things Ever. Once we got cable, classic television was all I watched until much later. Hogan's Heroes is still my favorite show, closely followed by Adam-12. I have seen every episode of Hogan's Heroes at least three times. I would totally be able to watch the same episode a few times in a row and each each viewing.

6. It is a little weird to me that I love prison movies, but I do. My favorite movie, not just in the prison genre, is Escape from Alcatraz with Clint Eastwood. This is, in large part, the cause of my love of Clint Eastwood, not due to my love of Clint Eastwood. My second favorite is Papillon.

7. I hate washing dishes. It also amazes me how easily I make my apartment incredibly messy, when I am a generally organized person.

8. I do not know how to ride a bike.

9. I have had a fireplace in my apartment both this year and last and never used it until right now (Sunday February 1st, 7:58pm). Unfortunately, it is not a real fire place. The logs are fake. I do not like that. Also, the flames are blue. There is not much heat. The logs will never burn down. The fire will never end, unless I turn it off. What the hell? That is not the correct fire place experience. I don't like the sound it makes or the unsafe feeling it gives me. It also took my building three months to turn it on. Ridiculous.

10. I really like cooking. I would be more than happy to cook you dinner, if you help me clean up after.

11. Ella Fitzgerald once serenaded me in an elevator.

12. This one should be obvious by now: I love the work of Raymond Chandler. For the most part, I also love movies based on the work of Raymond Chandler.

13. I painted a portrait of him recently. It's the first painting I've done in a really long time. This makes my mother really happy, because I used to be very into art. I almost went the whole art school route. But, in the past four years, I haven't done much art at all. My mom thinks I am wasting talent. I think I have the skill but not the ideas.

14. I enjoying drinking gimlets. I am not sure what percent of this affinity stems from my love of Raymond Chandler and the first book of his I read, The Long Goodbye.

15. I bought a harmonica and would like to be able to play it well. I have not yet dedicated any time to this task, however. Hopefully spring break will bring greatness.

16. I am finally going to Coachella this year. I am most excited 'bout Leonard Cohen. Sometimes I call him Lenny Cohen, like we're friends. We're not, but I have met him at a Christmas party. Sorta met him. More like too nervous to say anything other than hello. (OH MY, SO COOL).

17. I frequently think in song titles. When someone says "alley oop" at a basketball game, I first think of the song by the Hollywood Argyles, not the offensive maneuver usually involving a slam dunk.

18. I think James Franco is an okay guy but am really disappointed he is going to be the commencement speaker at my graduation.

19. I don't think participation should be so highly valued by professors. This pressure to participate causes people to say things just for the sake of getting those participation points and not because they have anything valuable to say. I cannot count how many times classes have been ruined because of idiots 'participating.'

20. My usage of the word idiot reminds of an interesting twenty minutes spent in an urban planning class a year or two ago discussing all the words related to city. In a roundabout way, idiot is one of them. See if you can figure out how.

21. I have a headache right now that is distracting.

22. I will watch any Huell Howser show. Even though I am way into them, they frequently are very helpful if I want to be sleeping. I will spend over five bucks (ridiculous) on a quart of Broguiere's milk if Huell Howser's face is on it. In my defense, it does taste better than most other milk I've had.

23. I really like Jewish holidays. I am going to have a seder this year at my apartment on the third night. You might be invited. Let me know if you would like to be.

24. I don't know why I didn't think of this one sooner: I really really really like postcards. I keep every postcard I get. I also, in general, like writing and receiving letters (not just the fake ones I write on this blog).

25. I do a lot of things for the future, which sometimes seems really silly to me but I like it anyways. For example, I took a yearbook photo and am buying a ridiculously expensive yearbook when I graduate, because I am really into my grandmother's college yearbooks and want to have one for my eventual granddaughter to find. This way/philosophy/appropriate-noun-of-which-I-cannot-think-currently has caused me to be quite the pack rat.