Dec 2, 2007
Dec 1, 2007
Curiosities of Note


On a side note, Donald Sutherland was at Freud Theater this afternoon to see the super creepy Teatr Zar's Gospels of Childhood.
Edit: I forgot to mention that Brandon Boyd and another Incubus member were eating at Mao's Kitchen last night whilst I was there. He is not a handsome person.
Another edit: I just realized how awesome this post is. Teatr Zar is from Silesia!!!! Oh man! So perfect.
Nov 30, 2007
I am pretty sure I don't like you.

I am writing an analytical memorandum (oy!) on Road System Performance in West LA (of Pico and Olympic Boulevards). I needed some information about a bus that I saw on Pico when I was doing some, shall we say, field research, so I called up 1-800-commute.
Me: Can you tell me what MTA bus lines run on Pico between the 405 onramp and Avenue of the Stars?
Her: The Santa Monica Seven.
Me: But I saw a MTA Local bus.
Her: NO YOU DIDN'T.
Me: Thank you. hang up
Um, okay, maybe my eyes deceived me, but yelling was really unnecessary, MTA woman.
On a Law & Order: Criminal Intent side note (per Alan's request. hope you're still reading!), I was watching an episode today without Goren or Eames (boo!) that was redeemed by the following interchange:
Captain Danny Ross (Eric Bogosian, who seems to always play Jewish characters but I don't think he is): Guess we know who didn't find the Afikomen! (about a boy who hated his father)
Logan & red-haired partner of the week: blank faces
CDR: It's like an Easter egg hunt for matzah.
Logan & red-haired partner of the week: blank faces, pause uh huh
Nov 28, 2007
Table sports.
JFranco actually showed up today--shocking. I really expected to hate him, especially after so many cancellations, but he was quite charming. I don't think he's such a liar anymore. Plus, he had pretty swell musical selections: Brian Jonestown Massacre, Jesus and Mary Chain, Jens Lekman, Magnetic Fields, John Lennon. I had to teach him how to use his iPod--pretty awesome. He admitted that he's made some pretty horrible movies. We're apparently going to play some ping pong. I like ping pong.By the way, I am writing this blog entry, chatting on AIM, and watching Law & Order: Criminal Intent, instead of writing six pages. Oy! I am a bad student.
Woah, Dr. George O'Malley (whatever his real name may be) plays a computer game designer. Carazy. He has a weird reddish hair color. Which kind of goes with the horrible red hair of Goren's partner in this episode. Goren agrees with me, "Eames would have known!"
Nov 27, 2007
A few things that bother me.
1. My parents won't get me a car (nor can I afford to get one myself) but decided to make the Auto Show the post-Thanksgiving family activity. A little cruel, I would say.
2. If you are going to have something be entirely about Christmas, don't call it "holiday." It's not more politically correct or some nonsense because you call it 'holiday' when you don't include any other holidays in it. To be clear, I don't care if you only care about Christmas--just don't call it 'holiday' and get me excited about the prospects of just maybe there might be something about Chanukah!
3. My landlord is never in her office.
4. My blues professor looks like a mixture of David Dassa and my dentist. WEIRD.
Nov 26, 2007
Nov 20, 2007
Take Me Out of the Ballgame. Not You, Mike Logan.

If you were planning on seeing Reprise's production of Damn Yankees at UCLA's Freud Theater, don't. Boo, Jason Alexander; you are a bad director.
1. Fine, you want to update the play. Then why update it to the 1980s? Doesn't make much sense. The '80s is not a decade that makes people particularly nostalgic.
2. If you are going to change things, you gotta get the details right. It's the little inaccuracies that detach the audience from the play. Frank McCourt wasn't the owner in the 80's; even I know that.
3. You shouldn't describe a player as "6'2", 195 lbs" when he is only around 5'9" and 150 lbs.
4. Fire your costume designer. All the women looked like they gained ten pounds since their measurements were taken. Every item of clothing they wore was just a little too tight, making for awkward tugging and gaping of fabric. All I could focus on during the first half was how ugly they all were made to look.
However, Jackee (Jackay!) Harry is awesome. In case you don't know who she is (I didn't just by her name, either), she played Lisa Landry on the fab television programme "Sister Sister." And, coincidentally, plays a character named "Sister" in Damn Yankees.
On a side note, in reference to the very helpful comment on the previous point, I hate Det. Mike Logan's partners. Every single one of them. Also, Mike Logan a.k.a Chris Noth creeps me out because I cannot think of him as anything other than either Mr. Big or supercreepster of the pretty eh movie, Searching for Paradise.
Nov 19, 2007
A few small items of note.
2. Only Erica might care about this, and she probably no longer reads this blog, but... Yesterday, whilst driving home from Santa Cruz on the 101, we chanced upon some weird public radio station just west of the Central Valley that was playing 'sounds of the Middle East.' My co-passengers really weren't digging it, but the song really caught my attention. After a couple minutes, I am positive it was some version of Tarbuka (or whatever is the real name of the song which accompanies that dance). Too bad the DJ was talking in thick accented Arabic and I really couldn't confirm.
3. James Franco might be guest DJing Automatic Stapler this Wednesday at 4. But since he was lame and canceled (I always want to put two Ls in that word) last time so last minute, I am not going to really advertise. You should tune in, though, because we are awesome whether or not Mr. Franco participates, and there are only a few more shows this quarter.
Nov 18, 2007
California Stars
Now, I get to write an essay! I would rather be asleep.
Nov 16, 2007
The Letterwriting Continues
Nov 14, 2007
P.S. Norwegian God of Song
Be excited.
Nov 12, 2007
Fake Snow

My blog has turned into a Royce celebrity sighting list, but whatever. Yesterday, Finola Hughes, also known as the host of Style Network's How Do I Look? (possibly the worst show I allow myself to watch, or allowed myself, as I don't get that channel at my apartment), showed up to see a performance by Pina Bausch Tanztheater Wuppertal of "Ten Chi"--a very odd dance. She was wearing all black, including boots that had a heel over five or six inches! It was pretty intense. There was also some other man who is a common small role guy in teenager television soap-sitcoms. He's fairly nasty looking. I thought he might have been on Seventh Heaven, but upon IMDBing, I see that is not the case.
The fun thing about "Ten Chi" is how much it makes me nostalgic for Slava's Snow Show, the coolest thing to happen at Royce in recent history. Ten Chi includes a woman wearing a long flow-y yellow dress frolicking in tons of white tissue paper confetti fake snow, just like Slava wore a yellow costume and danced around in white tissue paper confetti fake snow. Ten Chi also includes some weird sounding yet romantic music, like Slava did! But Slava is far superior to this one. Man, this one was almost three hours and totally not worthwhile.
oh! I figured out who that man is. He is also on 24! Eric Balfour: nasty looking, indeed.
Nov 5, 2007
Other things UCLA has taught me (midterms edition)
- I do not like B.B. King's music.
- Nabisco means National Biscuit Company.
- Space and Place are entirely different things.
- Using stopwatches for too long will make you scheme to build a peanut oil pipeline across the Sahara.
- Quaker Oats has absolutely nothing to do with actual Quakers.
- We are now living in an era of fluid modernity.
- I don't care about any of the aforementioned things.
Oct 31, 2007
ZQ
We've run into you several times seeing the same movie at the ArcLight—so we know you've got good taste in cinema. Any other favorite sources of entertainment?Guess it was.
ZQ: I'm a subscriber to UCLA Live, and they're doing a lot that's especially cool this year. I'm going to see the Pina Bausch dance company and Yo-Yo Ma. I'm also really looking forward to seeing Regina Spektor at the Wiltern.
Oct 28, 2007
Lear's end.
Ian McKellen doesn't look that much different than this man.Closing night of King Lear brought in the stars--some A-listers, even. The people who got there on time include some folks from Ugly Betty (although they came separately and I don't even know if they knew the other was there): Michael Urie and Ashley Jensen (thanks IMDB); the villain from Heroes, Zachary Quinto (thanks IMDB, once again); and Henry Winkler, who was really amazed that I could read his seat info from the ticket he was holding upside down.
Then come the people who make it just in time; I assume these people want to be late as to not engender much attention during the mad rush to get in before the doors close but not late enough to be held (smart). This category includes Orlando Bloom, who is actually, indeed, very handsome, more so than I previously believed, and Denzel Washington and his wife (who was wearing a lot of perfume). Denzel is pretty awesome. Man, this paragraph is full of parenthetical comments and weird punctuation, sorry 'bout that.
The third category is the famous "umm, let's be really late, shall we?!" and includes Lawrence Fishburne and Keanu Reeves, who came together. awww. They were totally fine about being held, though; kudos to them. Finally, Andy Garcia was there but I don't know when he arrived; I just spotted him at intermission with a horrible haircut. There were a few other people there as well whom I cannot specifically identify; one is a male bad actor from some sitcom or MTV something and the other is a older, late middle-aged woman who plays mothers in things. Also learned today that Ian McKellen is not circumcised. Lovely.
On a side note, "They call me crazy, but my name is Clifton Chenier"
Oct 27, 2007
Ian McKellan

Yesterday evening I ushered a performance of King Lear and the variety of celebrity turnout was quite grand. First, Neil Patrick Harris, in very fitted pin-striped trousers. Second, the ever-present Julia-Louis Dreyfus with her husband and a gaggle of kids (not all hers, though). She arrived late, so we had to hold her out of the performance for the first half hour. My boss was proud of me for not heeding celebrity. It wasn't that hard; she wasn't mean about it unlike every other obnoxious man who got there 45 minutes late and wanted to be seated in the front row! Boo stupid patrons--my favorite comment of the evening, "But I am a guest of the British consulate!" Who cares? During intermission came a few ones I had missed earlier--Julian Sands, who played the villainous Bierko on 24 but also a fantastic psycho theatrical man on an episode of Law & Order:Criminal Intent (a show that took up a lot of my procrastination time last year), John Lithgow, whom I once walked into while he was walking his dogs because I wasn't looking where I was going, Blythe Danner (my co-ushers had no idea who she is), and, finally, the tall curly-haired villain from Home Alone!
The show is endless--about three and a half hours! Plus intermission. Man, I am working it again tomorrow.
Oct 24, 2007
Hurry Up, Doomsday
$10,000 for killing a Whooping Crane.
$54,500 for releasing anydrous ammonia into the environment.
$55,000 for illegally travelling to Cuba.
$70,000 for mishandling and mislabeling hazardous chemicals.
$116,000 for improper disposal of flammable materials and other violations.
Oct 23, 2007
Oct 20, 2007
ummm, I got bitten by a rat.
edit: Danny Elfman was there. There was creepy music within feet. Fitting for a rat bite, it seems.
Oct 12, 2007
My photo was featured on LAist!!!!!!
Oct 10, 2007
Oct 8, 2007
Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)
I watched The Darjeeling Limited Wednesday evening. At the end of it, my body ached. Adrien Brody showed up and was pure hipster. Wes Anderson showed up, as well, and was super Caucasian. Roman Coppola showed up and I didn't even really notice. Slate thinks, "Hands down, it's his most obnoxious movie yet."
"There's his pervasive preciousness, exemplified by the way he pins actors into the centers of fastidiously composed tableaux like so many dead butterflies. There's his slump-shouldered parade of heroes who seem capable of just two emotions: dolorous and more dolorous (not that there haven't been vibrant exceptions to this). And there's the way he frequently couples songs—particularly rock songs recorded by shaggy Europeans between 1964 and 1972—with slow-motion effects, as though he's sweeping a giant highlighter across the emotional content of a scene."I would tend to agree. Despite this obnoxiousness, I kinda really liked it. Plus, the cinematography was spectacular.
Oct 5, 2007
Sep 8, 2007
Portlandia
- Meerkats know how to use cameras.
- LA life=eek!
- Southern California water might be rationed as early as next year. also=eek!
- Paris Hilton is suing Hallmark Cards for the use of "That's Hot," a phrase which she has trademarked. oy.
- Calif. 'Perfect Drought' Could Span 100 Years
- Përshëndetje is how you greet someone in Albanian. Thanks Flickr!
Sep 6, 2007
the northwest
The hotel we're in here is pretty crazy. I prefer it to your average Hilton, but they are going a little overboard with the clashing patterns, trying so hard to prove their hipness. Free wireless, though, so yay. And, there's a cute little recycle bin! Oh, you 'ecochic' Portland. I have this idea to get on top of a lot of the ecoroofs here, but I don't think that's going to happen.
Ran into the Ice Cream Man this evening, as well--pretty exciting, but no ice cream was being given out yet and the folks didn't want to wait around. Hopefully, we'll be able to arrange a Automatic Stapler Ice Cream session (which was supposed to happen when the station basically collapsed).
Following are a few choice photos of the last several days in Seattle. For full size and additional photos, check out my flickr.
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Aug 29, 2007
scallops
Anyways, those aren't just delicious scallops but delicious scallops with delicious balsamic mushrooms with reduced (!) lettuce something or other. Yeah. You want to be invited to one of my dinner parties, which will be starting once I move into my apartment, which will happen once my building's elevator isn't broken, which better happen before I leave for Seattle!
Aug 23, 2007
some Dodgers observations
some Dodgers observations:- topiaries? Seriously? What Dodger fan really cares about shaped plants? Especially since the shapes are just hemispheres.
- Universal Studios is definitely not the center of Los Angeles entertainment.
- They no longer have cool-named players, except for maybe Saito. I miss Raul Mondesi and Hideo Nomo. They don't have great names, but I also miss: Adrian Beltre, Mark Grudzielanek, Eric Karros, Todd Hollandsworth, and Brett Butler.
Haven't listed those great eBay items in a while. I have no money currently, but if you wear my size shoes you can buy them and then let me borrow them once in a while. ;-)

Aug 22, 2007
I no longer like David Letterman.
David Letterman is really boring. This is somehow a new idea for me. Too bad Huell doesn't start until 12:30 and I don't have cable here. This picture is really awesomely related to this post if you speak hebrew and watch Letterman. woo! unvaried sentence structure.A few other TV observations:
1. Wilco song "What Light" in Volkswagen commercial.
2. I don't get PBS. What? No PBS! PBS is part of regular TV, isn't it? I am sure it is, and yet I don't get it. At least I got FOX for a House episode I hadn't seen.

Too bad I don't have a 1959 or 1960 model TV!
Aug 15, 2007
all in good time
Walk Score. See how walkable your neighborhood is. Mine isn't. Boo. :-(
- I was driving on Westwood when this "Car Bomb Mystery" happened. Weird. LAist investigates.
- Top 10 Tacos in West Los Angeles! I haven't been to any of the listed places, so I can't confirm. Feel free to let me know if you can. I gotta recommend the not-listed La Serenata's crispy tacos. yum!
- These pictured Texans make enjoyable music. Photo by me.
- Check out more photos by me!
12/11/10 update: TACOS POR FAVOR IS AMAZING.
Aug 4, 2007
Jul 30, 2007
Monday Round-Up
Let's just start out right away with those lovely shoes that aren't my size,
once again.- Miu Miu Platforms 99 cents! crazy pattern
- Miu Miu wedges $9.99 pretty sleek.
- The Sad Fate of the Comma
- "Facebookers are strivers" (Newsweek)
- The Night Ryan Met Elton
NOTE: new calendar on the right!
Jul 27, 2007
Congressional Checkerboard Bludgeon
To start off this post how I ended the previous post, following are a few eBay items that I highly recommend. While last time they were not my size, this time they are just above my I-have-no-money-but-I-buy-things-anyways limit of 25 dollars. These Miu Miu pumps are kinda crazy, exactly how I like them. I have had a pair of these in my "My eBay" for a least a year, but every pair I put in there gets too expensive. Perhaps not for you. The Marni ones fail
Yesterday, I attended the last Indie 103.1-presented "Also I Like to Rock" events at the Hammer Museum featuring Sea Wolf and Midnight Movies. While I've been to MOCA's Nightvision and LACMA's night events (with a title I can't remember) and Getty's Fridays off the 405, even Hammer's own Hammer Bash!es, I had never been to one of these before. Not much difference, except that the overall hipster quota was more than met--to an obnoxious extent, actually. We had all ages represented here, too. The whore-y 13yr-olds in their leggings tucked into cowboy boots with American Apparel lamé (isn't it great how if you type that without the accent it's just lame; really quite a revealing fact, I say) leotards underneath some horrible empire-waisted tunic, the summer-before-college-just-graduated-high-school "I-am-so-awesome" boys with their skinny jeans, the mid20s-mid30s alcoholic folks with posses, and the old men sort-of-dancing and just looking creepy. Going to the events which I do, I have come to expect such ideas of cool. This just had so much of it that I was overwhelmed.
OK, now that I have finished ranting, y'all really should check out Sea Wolf. I started mentioning him to my friends around June of 2006 after I saw him open for Seu Jorge (weird pairing) at the El Rey. While most of the crowd was bored, and I was admittedly a little myself at first (although probably just not in the mood to have a
nything get in the way of Jorge's Brazilian excitement), I ended up really enjoying their set. Especially the songs "Middle Distance Runner" and "Black Dirt." But when I got home and looked them up, there was barely any info anywhere. Then suddenly a few months later, they were everywhere. Now they are signed to Dangerbird Records and being touted by indie tastemakers everywhere! crazy. And it seems that most of the people at the Hammer last night were there to see Sea Wolf and not the, at-this-point stalwarts, Midnight Movies. Too bad they didn't perform either Middle Distance Runner or Black Dirt. (Correction, he did play Black Dirt.)Check out the post I wrote about the Alex Church & co. at the UCLAradio.com blog back in August of last year to hear their single, "You're a Wolf." The EP Get to the River Before It Runs Too Low is out now, first full length out in September.
Download: The Garden That You Planted (mp3)
Jul 24, 2007
and you know what? arrivederci
On another TV note, I finally finished watching the 22 Sundance-provided hours of Live Earth last night. Which means, I finished about 3 hours of Live Earth last night and a tremendous long time of fast-forwarding. A few observations:
- John Mayer needs to button his shirt, thanks.
- Hologram (or whatever) Gore is creepy.
- Crowded House song about taking the weather with you is quite lovely.
- "Hey You" at the end of every commercial break was super excessive. Now I hate the song, whereas previously I only disliked it.
- Madonna is awesome. Her keyboardist was really cute. But, why was she playing the guitar during Ray of Light? Totally ruined it. And it's her best song!
- La Isla Bonita was awesome. Kudos. yes, I am a gazillion days behind on this one.
And now for the problem of the day: Every time I get my teeth cleaned, I receive a nice little free bottle of Listerine. Now, I love mouth wash so this is always quite exciting. Customarily, I am given a 3 fl oz glass container of CoolMint Antiseptic Listerine which claims to kill "germs that cause Bad Breath, Plaque & the gum disease Gingivitis." First, do many people really need the description before Gingivitis? Second, note the gkla-esque capitalization. These are such convenient little bottles that usually I save them for trips and such and, instead, use the huge 2.1 liter bottles I get from Costco. Yesterday, upon finishing the citrus flavored huge bottle, I notice it expired in 2006. GREAT.
Anyways, this brings us to the crux of the matter. Last time I was at the dentist, they give me a 8.5 fl oz plastic bottle of Listerine Tooth Defense Anticavity Flouride Rinse. "For me?!" I asked shyly. While it was no glass jar, how nice of them to give me such a present. I used it for the first time last night. It tasted quite different, but pretty good. This morning, I pondered the different taste and decided to read the fine print beneath the "peel here" label. In bold, This product is not intended to help prevent or reduce plaque and gingivitis. What? I don't understand. Why am I using this mouth wash then? Well, I guess the fluoride is good for my weak, cavity-loving teeth. But, I don't want no gingivitis. What to do, what to do?
Also, radiating pain from the back of my jaw on each side. I think it may be time to remove those wisdom teeth. Boo.
And now for a few things I want but are not in my size, so you who fits them should buy instead. Just thank me for the guidance! ;-)

- bee-you-tea-ful (and only $11.04) Marc Jacobs shoes
- fancy fancy satin Miu Miu stunners $9.99!
Jul 23, 2007
tasty, tasty
Yo folks,
I'm back to give you a run-down of what I deem fantastic at each of the following restaurants. I guarantee it (if, of course, you have the same tastes as me, which you should)!
Damon and Pythias - Portabella Caprese Sandwich Portabella Mushrooms on Grilled Foccacia Bread with Roasted Tomatoes, Fresh Mozzarella Cheese, Balsamic Vinaigrette, Fresh Basil and Mixed Baby Greens.
Novel Cafe - Chinese Chicken Salad. not your average chinese chicken sald. In fact, the only resemblence to the usual one is the mandarin oranges; oh, and the chicken. Otherwise, a world apart and delicious!
Soliel - Chicken Crepe. AMAZING, seriously. The crepe is a beautiful thing in general, and this one specifically has a fantastic light cream sauce with tons of mushrooms. Plus it comes with a scrumptious salad and superb skinny skinny fries.
California Chicken Cafe - Vegetable Salad with Balsamic Vinagrette Dressing. Oh man, what a salad. Just go taste it as soon as possible.
California Fresh - Grilled Chicken Combo/ Pizza. This place is full of great deals. A large pizza is 7 dollars. The Grilled Chicken combo comes with two sides. I always choose grilled vegetables and humus and pita. They are on Westwood and La Grange, a bit south of the village.
Sprazzo - Pappardelle Quattro Funghi. Wide egg pasta with shitake, oyster, porcini, and champignon mushrooms in a light wine sauce.
Nizam -7.99 All You Can Eat Lunch Buffett. tastttttty food. especially the Chicken Makhni, Samosas, Mango, and Naan.
La Serenata - Crispy Chicken Tacos. with some odd but awesome rice and tomatillo sauce.
Gyu Kaku - Chicken Tare, Original Bibimba. Japanese food Korean style. "a yakiniku dining experience"
Okay, go try all of that! Report back your opinions.
there's a particular alley
I went to my new apartment on Thursday to measure it and drew up little floorplans for the two rooms, split into the bedroom, closet, living room area, dining room area, kitchen, and library nook. I am going to have a library nook! There's this really random area created by some weird walls so I am going to put bookcases covering the walls plus a table for my record player and an old antique lamp I rescued from my grandmother's garage. This is right next to the kitchen, which is kinda weird, but whatever--it's a library nook!
Aug 27, 2006
Aug 19, 2006
Aug 18, 2006
Aug 17, 2006
Jul 19, 2006
The best image, for sure, is Bradley Baumkirchner as the Scandinavian sailor of 1973. I immediately created this whole life for him; it's fantastic. His little house, in my brain, is mostly old wood and really light blue paint with beige and heather gray furniture. Man. Complete image. Intense. If I was industrious, I would draw it all out right now, but I am not.
Jul 15, 2006
The Devil, and others, wear Prada
So, today I got new ones by Prada; my dad has taken to calling me the devil.
Thanks Hollywood, Laura






















